North American Narcissism

The US increasingly is only interested in itself. The US media increasingly displays only beautiful Americans rather than any information about the outside world. Now this might not be such a bad thing -- many people turn to television as an escape at the end of a long work day -- but there needs to be a little bit of balance. I'm beginning to worry that perhaps the rest of the world could reduce itself to rubble without the average US citizen even noticing. My worries were further fueled by the following statistics that I discovered in an editorial by Nicholas Kristof that ran in today's Times.

"According to monitoring by the Tyndall Report, ABC News had a total of 18 minutes of the Darfur genocide in its nightly newscasts all last year - and that turns out to be a credit to Peter Jennings. NBC had only 5 minutes of coverage all last year, and CBS only 3 minutes - about a minute of coverage for every 100,000 deaths. In contrast, Martha Stewart received 130 minutes of coverage by the three networks."

So, for those keeping score, the genocide in Sudan is worthy of 26 minutes of coverage TOTAL in ONE YEAR! Even people who watch the news could easily have been fixing themselves a sandwich during that time. Well, a few sandwiches.

Kristof lays the blame at the feet of his fellow journalists, which is partially fair -- journalists should be making a greater effort to make this kind of news more available and perhaps more accessible and meaningful to those who don't know too much about world politics -- but to a great extent the problem is that people just don't care anymore. We would actually rather hear about Martha Stewart. Somehow we have become so jaded by the endless stream of tragedies, that we can hear about something like this and stop thinking about it literally five seconds later. And that's not a righteous condemnation of "the average american," because I too have developed this ability over the years and it disturbs me deeply.

For more information about Darfur we must turn to the internet or the increasingly ignored serious newspapers such as the New York Times and the Washington Post.
If you would like to learn more, here is what appears to be a relatively good site with a decent overview of the history of the conflict and some suggestions for what can be done. www.savedarfur.org

Dangers of Private Internet Providers

I just read this on Boing-boing and quickly produced enough rage-iation to explode my regular monocle and my back-up monocle. I'm currently writing this without a monocle, so I hope Matthew can read my hand-writing.

Anyway, Telus is engaged in a dispute with their union and they are BLOCKING people from visiting the union's website. Blocking access to information that is threatening to the service provider is very disturbing. What if a scientific article were released suggesting that Telus phones caused brain cancer, but other phones did not? Would they block that too? Perhaps not, but this precedent seems to be a first step onto a slippery moral slope. In interests of "fairness" Telus claims that photos were being released on the websites of workers crossing picket lines and they were trying to protect their workers. However the person running the site says he wasn't aware of these photos in the discussion forums and would have taken them down if Telus had contacted him.

This is so disturbing to me that I have cancelled the Telus phone that I have for my dog.

Here is a Globe and Mail article on the subject.

Below is the verbatim post from Boing-boing.

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Phone company blocks access to telecoms union's website
The Telecommunications Workers' Union of Canada is striking against has been locked out by Telus, a large phone company and ISP. Two of TWU's sites (including Voices for Change, a message board where union members can discuss issues such as being without a contract for 1666 days and last having received a general wage increase 2031 days ago).
Telus is playing very dirty -- they're blocking access to the union's website so that their workers and the general public are cut off from legitimate debate about this action. This is inexcusable: imagine if this phone company chose to block all calls into union headquarters. From an email forwarded by Damien Fox:

Telus Communications Inc, Canada's second largest telephone company, whose 13,500 unionized employees setup picket lines only sixteen hours before Telus implemented their non-negotiated contract offer Friday is now playing media censor.
In an attempt to convince employees to cross picket lines and win public support during what may be a long labour dispute, Telus has blocked access to several pro-union websites from any Telus customer internet connections. This comes only one day after the Canadian Industrial Regulations Board (CIRB) found Telus guilty of bargaining in bad faith for the third time during the negotiation process that has left the Telecommunications Workers Union (TWU) without a contract for nearly five years.

TWU members who rely on these websites and internet discussion forums for communications are now looking for alternative methods for retrieving information related to what is happening on picket lines across Alberta and BC. Union members who are able to get to the website are angered but not surprised by Telus' latest move.

"What else should we expect from a company who has tried to implement a contract deemed a violation of Canadian Labour Code? Telus' disrespect for customers, employees, and Canadian labour law has all unions in Canada on the edge of their seat. If Telus successfully imposes their non-negotiated contracts, it sets precedence for all unionized companies across Canada when they sit down to bargain." one post reads. The CIRB has been reluctant to impose any penalties for Telus' violations of labour code as they are unsure what the direct impact has been on the bargaining process, and if the two parties would be any further along if Telus had followed labour law. Telus has been found guilty of several counts of bargaining in bad faith and interfering with the operations of a trade union by the CIRB.

Known pro-union websites currently blocked to Telus customers are www.voices-for-change.com and www.telusscabs.ca . Visitors posting on the website are asking fellow union members, Telus customers, and the public to file a complaint with the CRTC and their MP for Telus violating their personal right to freedom of speech and freedom of the press under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

For further union information and media inquiries, please contact Bruce Bell, TWU President at 604-341-2925 or Sid Shniad at the TWU Burnaby Office at 604-437-8601. Visit the TWU web site: www.twu-canada.ca

For furher Telus information and media inquiries, please contact Nick Culo, National Communications, Telus Corporation at 780-493-7236, nick.culo@telus.com or visit www.Telus.com

The So-Called "Power" Stripe

A brand of personal deodorizer has been released as-of-late which makes some peculiar claims in its televised endorsement. The makers of this product are attempting to whip up some ballyhoo regarding a much-touted "stripe" of power. The advertisements feature a ragtag group of nerds and misfits who defeat NFL superstars in the schoolyard game "Red Rover" apparently because of their analogical connexion with said "stripe" of "power."

Fair Readers!, I would like you to stop and consider what exactly is being advertised here. The viewer is meant to think that oh, look, this deodorizer is like a regular deodorizer, PLUS it contains a "stripe" of a more powerful deoderizing agent. I ask you this, what is this other substance and if it works, then why in god's name would they not simply be selling an entire bar of the superior substance? What sense could there be in drizzling a thin stripe of it over top of the regular, less-effective deodorizing substance?

While our troubles are great, in this instance, their source is very specific -- Marketers! Marketers have painted themselves into a corner over the years and now they are at their most dangerous and vicious. Watch as I make plain their devious terfuges and sub-terfuges.

Let us suppose that some sort of "pharmaceutical scientist" at the company in question has actually designed a substance that is more effective at deodorization. Imagine said company were to release this substance in the regular format and televise an advertisement which proclaimed, honestly and accurately that their product was "Now 50% More Effective."

What would happen? Absolutely Zilch! No one would care!

Years and years of mendacious boosterism have created an entire planet of jaded and untrusting consumers. Language itself has been reduced to a flaccid squishy pablum of meaninglessness! Language and its incident capacities (ie -- the ability to record, communicate and analyze) are what seperate men from beasts. Language is the great canvas of the human spirit, but it has been sullied, perhaps unredeemably so, by the hyperbole of marketers.

For too long we have allowed advertisers to play fast and loose with the truth.

I do not refer to simply to the outright lies that occassionally occur, or the misleading statistics or slogans, but to virtually all advertising. Indeed to endorse a product for money that one would not endorse for free is to prostitute language itself and to sell the very trust which is the foundation of human culture and society! To be an advertiser is to auction off one's position in public discourse to the highest bidder. To be an advertiser is to willingly severe one's beliefs from one's self-expression. To be an advertiser is to be opposed to human culture.

But perhaps you are already too jaded to care? Perhaps you are willing to accept the devaluation of language in exchange for the increased production of material goods? I have chosen to speak upon the "Power Stripe Deodorizer" not because of what we can learn about the history of marketing, but because it is an OMEN of what is to come.

The meaning of the "Power Stripe" is this; the Marketers did NOT simply repeat their hackneyed claims about 'clinically proven' increases in effectiveness! It is far worse than that! Instead, they co-opted the job of the product engineer, who would certainly have chosen to use only the more effective substance and they have redesigned the deodorizer to make it WORSE! Marketers will not rest simply because they have succeeded in making advertisements themselves useless and unintelligible. Instead, they seek to spread the boils and pustules of their ungodly plague into all other fields of human activity!!!

In the past people designed a functional and useful product and then attempted to promote its value and utility to the consumer. In this form, capitalism made some sense and served humanity. But now, in the 21st Century, we are designing products that SEEM good, but AREN'T. In the past, we made things for people to use and then tried to sell them. Now, we are making things to sell them, USE BE DAMNED! We are destroying our planet in order to make things that aren't helpful to anyone. This is why the "Power Stripe" is a sign of the apocalypse. I am well aware that this post is verbose and unruly but I am deeply disturbed by what I am seeing around me and I can no longer restrain my fabulous and breathtaking wrath!

And do not think the proliferation of marketing is limited to product design. Just think of the current trends towards guerilla advertising which are likewise driven by the supersaturation of the television medium with lies. There are countless companies who pay young, often attractive people to do things like surf the internet and lie in chat rooms about various products which they claim to enjoy, or stand around on crowded street corners and loudly discuss that fantastic film which they supposedly just saw. For marketers to overstep their bounds so egregiously is reprehensible and dangerous.

Conventional advertising has been ruined by marketers pissing in their pool until it is so polluted and vile that no one will step into it. Now they want to come and piss all over public space as well. We must not allow this to happen! I urge you not to accept jobs from these guerilla marketers, not to help manufacture products that are designed with only marketing in mind and to shun and revile any acquaintances involved in these inhuman activities!

In all honesty, I, Matteus Von Mustard would rather pluck out each and every one of my beautiful and well-manicured fingernails than debase myself and all of humanity by producing, selling or advertising a product which I knew to be worthless.

Now get the hell out of my website!

My Apologies

Dear Devoted Readers,

I apologize for the skinny condition of my posts of late. I have seen so many signs that I have yet to post about, but expect some soon; including one revolutionary insight.

The reason for my distraction is that I am currently writing and editing an encyclopedia about myself. For while there are a few excellent biographies on the subject (me), it is difficult to locate particular items of information using the reference material that is currently available.

The project is turning out to be much more time-consuming than I had originally anticipated. I have already filled seven, 1000 page volumes though, so I feel that I am keeping up a good pace. Here is a teaser to keep you occupied. It is the last entry that I completed.

Monocle: N., Personal Possession; Non-Celestial.

Matteus Von Mustard wears a special monocle, ground in Switzerland from the finest glass in the world. The glass itself is formed with equal parts of desert and beach sand. The desert sand has been collected from each of the seven deadly deserts and the beach sand is hand-made by beautiful native women from fresh seashells to ensure that it has not been shat upon by seagulls. Who would want old beach sand that's been lying around for who knows how long in their monocle? Not me, that's for sure. But I digress. The special glass in Matteus' monocle allows him to see all manner of occult phenomena that are invisible to the naked eye, such as ghosts, poltergeists, lycanthropic auras, the wrists of supermodels and the various poxes and hexes to be found in and upon fast food. On occassion, Matteus Von Mustard's astounding passion and emotion have been known to shatter his monocle. Usually rage.
For this reason he always carries a second monocle in the breast-pocket of his vest, enveloped in Chinese Silk.

This is a very very bad sign

The world record for reciting pi has been broken, and not only broken, smashed into 83,000 pieces. I didn't expect this omen for many many years. I feel a chill deep in my spleen and I can not get warm.

"Akira Haraguchi, 59 of Tokyo, recited Pi from memory to 83,431 decimal places, doubling the world record. According to a BBC News report, Haraguchi lost his place three hours into his first try and had to start over. Last year, he made it to about 54,000 decimal places but had to call it quits when the facility where the event was held closed its doors for the night."

Thanks to boing-boing