Soooooo.....

So, right then. Yesterday afternoon I received a phone call from Matthew Lie - Paehlke, who it turns out was entirely unapocalypsized. In fact, it turns out that pretty much everyone remains unapocalyptified. I was frustrated to learn that my information had been inaccurate. Although I was relieved to know I would be able to go out and get fresh vegetables. My cellar was all out of white asparagus.

It took me pretty much the entire night to remove the anti-demon spells and hexes which I had placed on the various blast doors and airlocks between myself and the ground floor of my abode. But now I'm here, standing upon the grassy green surface of our lovely and entirely unapocalated planet. So, uh, I guess I'll get back to work.

Some of my more diligent readers, may be beginning to suspect they see a certain trend developing, they might recall other instances in which I have retreated ten stories beneath the earth only to return a week later to find things continuing unabated. These readers may be wondering if I have a tendency to "call wolf."

To these readers I say,
"Would you like to trade places with me?!?"
"Would you like to feel the weight of eight billion current lives and literally countless future lives upon your shoulders?"
"Would you stand alone at the VANGUARD of the Apocalypse Awareness Movement?"

Ah yes, resounding silence, that's just what I thought I'd here.

Remember this, I am Matteus Von Mustard and even my mistakes are more impressive then your greatest acheivements, each time I defecate I make a greater contribution to society then most men will make in their lifetime.