5.18.2005

The Picture of Everything!

Terrifying news! This just in! The apocalypse is closer than even I had thought! A man by the name of Howard Hallis has created a picture of everything!

You can view the picture at his website.

In this picture he has represented everything! For this to be possible, everything must have already been presented once (in order to be represented) and thusly there is no sense in waiting around for new things to emerge before the apocalypse. If everything already exists then it can easily be taken out in one fell swoop AT ANY TIME!

If anyone needs me, I'll be in my wine cellar trying to drink $658,000 worth of wine as quickly as possible.

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APPENDUM:

I urge you to both Lo! and also Behold! After a suggestion made by my esteemed colleague Justin, that perhaps certain things were not contained within the picture of everything, I performed an exhaustive search and was unable to find any representation of Pork Moss whatsoever. For this reason, I have ascertained that this is most assuredly a hoax as Justin suggested.

DO NOT WORRY! There will not be an imminent apocalypse, go on and read about the relative merits of French and German bread. It is one of my most insightful posts in recent memory.

Luckily I had only drunk five bottles of wine by the time I put two and two together. Unfortunately as a result of the perceived imminence I started at the expensive end and I'm now out $168,000 in irreplaceable turn of the century wines.

6 Comments:

Blogger justin said...

This is clearly a hoax, and not representative of everything. I did not find either a picture of myself or a can of ranch flavored pringles, ergo not everything has been represented.Hoax.

11:00 a.m.  
Blogger justin said...

Scratch that. Found 'em.

11:01 a.m.  
Blogger Matthew Lie - Paehlke said...

Good Lord Justin! You're right; it IS a hoax! I have been unable to find a single representation of pork moss, I must inform my readers immediately.

2:11 p.m.  
Blogger Other Brother said...

great. a picture of everything and I can't see it on my pc. figures. tell me, is anna kournikova's cooter on there? tell me it is. tell me it is.

8:39 p.m.  
Blogger Matthew Lie - Paehlke said...

Cooter? What perchance is a cooter? Is this some variety of marsupial of which I am unaware? I doubt it; I know an awful lot about marsupials.

11:44 p.m.  
Blogger sarah said...

Your blog is great. It's hard to find blogs with good content and people talking about Anna Kournikova these days. I have a Anna Kournikova Exposed if you want to come check it out.

2:55 p.m.  

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