Stephen Harper! EEK!

Certainly I pride myself on my rationality! And certainly there are worse things going on in the world than Stephen Harper's lead in the polls, however, I feel we all have a right to get a little emotionally bent out of shape when things hit close to home. Our home and native land.

Not for long if Stephen Harper takes up the reins.

For one, he announced today that he would overturn a recent deal between the federal government and native groups. The deal is already something of an insult to a people from whom we stole everything we have and who we are now allowing to sink into social and economic turmoil without batting an eye. Stephen Harper would take back what little we have already given them. Talk about Indian Giving!

For two, he announced today that he would pull out of the Kyoto Accord. We were failing to make our quotas under the liberals but at least we were trying. To pull out of Kyoto is appalling and shows an utter disrespect towards our children and grandchildren and towards those poor countries struggling to meet their own quotas while we roll around in our wealth and proclaim we can't afford to protect the environment.

For three, DEEP INTEGRATION WITH THE UNITED STATES! Under NAFTA US companies who invest in water exporting will have their investments protected against any laws we might pass. This needs to be changed and soon. Do you think Harper will be the one to slap their hands back? Not in a million years. In fact, in Parliament he criticized Chretien for opposing the US missile defense plan and for signing the world ban on landmines despite US misgivings. Landmines?!?!? LANDMINES?!?!??! Of all the things in the world that are most obviously a bad idea landmines ranks number three (after spray-on cheese and pissing on an electric fences). I'm pretty sure Darth Fucking Vader thinks landmines are cruel and unnecessary.

If Stephen Harper can't work up the nerve to tell Bush that landmines are a bad idea, then how can we expect him to stand up to the US on anything???

I beg of you take these rational munitions into your arsenal and move out quickly. Talk to the people you know and love who are considering voting conservative. Do so with respect and patience. There are good reasons to be angry with liberals. There are good reasons to vote conservative. Perhaps however these facts about Harper will help you to persuade people that, all things considered, electing Stephen Harper would be a calamitous, catastrophic and apocalyptical cataclysm of an eschatological tenor. It would also be dire, doleful, dreadful, disastrous, destructive, devastating, decimating and dastardly. Also doom.

Scared Shitless,
The Right Honourable
Matteus Von Mustard


Blogger justin said...


We pwn u!

1:41 p.m.  
Blogger Don Raja said...

Hey Mizzat,

Thanks for the eye-opener. I fall into that category of life-long Liberals who think they need to be taken out for one term to learn that they will be held accountable. However after reading this, I may have to rethink this.


3:12 a.m.  
Blogger Matthew Lie - Paehlke said...

nadeem, i agree with you, that the liberals need to be sent a message. although honestly the corruption is less than in most countries and less than it was under mulruney (sp?)

however i really think the problem is too many majority governments. although people talk about nothing getting done. minority governments keep people accountable. stephen harper for example would probably have to stay away from his far-right goals if he only had a minority, unless he's willing to sell the farm to quebec to get bloc votes, which really, seems pretty likely and would give us the worst of both worlds.

professor davenport: you don't have pwnership yet!

12:20 p.m.  

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