Lebanon and the Apocalypse
Many people believe the current conflict in Lebanon is a sign of the apocalypse and the beginning of world-wide armageddon. There is great and heated discussion amongst various "raptuready" web forums about the imminence of the second coming. I have some bad news for those of you already packing your spiritual bags -- the rapture will not happen in the near future. Indeed, while the Book of Revelations is useful source material for eschatological analysis, it is not nearly as reliable as the Norse discussion of Ragnarok and tends to produce premature estimations of the end of times, making you look not unlike a teenager on prom-night. But even outside of my extensive occult knowledge, I can produce evidence based on recent history that this is not the end of times. After the 1982 invasion of Lebanon by Israel, Southern Lebanon was occupied by the Israeli army for EIGHTEEN FREAKING YEARS. The number of those years during which Our Lord and Saviour returned was none. What's more, during this entire period no one in the United States gave two shits about what was going on.
So, to all those who have arrived in my reality-based corner of the blogosphere I will make you something of a bet. Pick a date, any date, on which you believe the rapture will occur and mail me a post-dated cheque for the amount of your expected bank balance on that date. You certainly won't need to pay once you've been picked up by your Lord and Saviour in his ultra-massive super-hummer. Jesus Christ doesn't go dutch with anybody.
Please make cheques payable to: Col. Matteus Von Mustard Esq.
And mail them to me at the following address:
1 King West -- Invisible Super-Penthouse, Observatory and Zepellin Port
Toronto Ontario
Canada
In the case that the rapture should occur at any time during the next year, I hereby swear to donate 66.6% of my not inconsiderable personal fortune to establish an International Academy of Intelligent Design.
And, for my more reasonable and good-humoured readers, I leave you with some interesting tidbits from the American Media, both webby and non-webby:
Fox News, in an effort to pander to US evangelicals without slipping into the journalistic equivalent of reporting stories word-for-word from The Brothers' Grimm, have started referring to the current conflict as World War III. You can take a look at Stephen Colbert's take on their reporting here. Thanks to the wonderful folks at Crooks and Liars.
On RaptureAlert.com we discover the little known fact that apparently the EU is the Roman Empire.
"The European Union, the revived Roman Empire, is alive today and moving steadily toward the fulfillment of this prophecy as seen in Daniel 7: 23: "The fourth beast shall be the fourth kingdom upon earth, which shall be diverse from all kingdoms, and shall devour the whole earth, and shall tread it down, and break it in pieces." The Antichrist who will lead this world government (after the rapture of the Christian Church takes place) will be a leader from the European Union as seen in Daniel 9:26. He will be of the people who destroyed the city of Jerusalem and its sanctuary in AD 70, the Romans."
So, to all those who have arrived in my reality-based corner of the blogosphere I will make you something of a bet. Pick a date, any date, on which you believe the rapture will occur and mail me a post-dated cheque for the amount of your expected bank balance on that date. You certainly won't need to pay once you've been picked up by your Lord and Saviour in his ultra-massive super-hummer. Jesus Christ doesn't go dutch with anybody.
Please make cheques payable to: Col. Matteus Von Mustard Esq.
And mail them to me at the following address:
1 King West -- Invisible Super-Penthouse, Observatory and Zepellin Port
Toronto Ontario
Canada
In the case that the rapture should occur at any time during the next year, I hereby swear to donate 66.6% of my not inconsiderable personal fortune to establish an International Academy of Intelligent Design.
And, for my more reasonable and good-humoured readers, I leave you with some interesting tidbits from the American Media, both webby and non-webby:
Fox News, in an effort to pander to US evangelicals without slipping into the journalistic equivalent of reporting stories word-for-word from The Brothers' Grimm, have started referring to the current conflict as World War III. You can take a look at Stephen Colbert's take on their reporting here. Thanks to the wonderful folks at Crooks and Liars.
On RaptureAlert.com we discover the little known fact that apparently the EU is the Roman Empire.
"The European Union, the revived Roman Empire, is alive today and moving steadily toward the fulfillment of this prophecy as seen in Daniel 7: 23: "The fourth beast shall be the fourth kingdom upon earth, which shall be diverse from all kingdoms, and shall devour the whole earth, and shall tread it down, and break it in pieces." The Antichrist who will lead this world government (after the rapture of the Christian Church takes place) will be a leader from the European Union as seen in Daniel 9:26. He will be of the people who destroyed the city of Jerusalem and its sanctuary in AD 70, the Romans."
posted by Matthew Lie - Paehlke at 9:36 a.m.
3 Comments:
Verifiable proof that "Armageddon" has already begun…
Hello Matteus and all,
Here's the key to proving that the rapture and related expectations are complete nonsense based on the failure to understand (and the purposeful confounding of) the ancient Hebrew symbology used to construct all of these prophecies. Consequently, Christian timelines and interpretations of these prophecies are verifiably wrong on many key points.
Pay close attention, profundity knocks at the door, listen for the key. Be Aware! Scoffing causes blindness...
Did you ever consider that Christianity is the False Prophet symbolized in the Apocalypse, that Rome (Vatican/Papacy) is the so-called anti-messiah, and Jesus Christ is the false messiah? I have produced stunning and comprehensive proof that this is the true interpretation of pivotal prophecies long confounded by Christianity's founders and leaders.
The symbolism of seven years (tribulation) refers to the seven 360-year cycles from the 11th cycle on the Hebrew calendar (second temple period) until now, the 17th cycle (seventh angel/star). It is completely wrong to interpret any of these prophecies as literal timelines and events. Remember, they were written by Hebrews, not Romans or other Europeans, and Revelation is the most symbolic of all prophecies. Consequently, in this context, years are symbols for 360-year cycles on the Hebrew calendar and days symbolize literal years. Therefore "Judgement Day," and "Great Day" and "in that day" all refer to a literal year-long period. Furthermore, the so-called "Tribulation" is now nearing its end, not starting, and all three faiths of Abraham have been thoroughly deceived by Rome during the previous age, which ended in year 2000 (5760). A new age began in 2001 (5761) and now the seventh angel has begun to sound!
Here's a real hot potato! Eat it up, digest it, and then feed it's bones to the hungry...
Hurricanes Katrina (#11) and Rita (#17) last year provided stunning validation of my research and interpretations of pivotal ancient wisdom, symbologies, key prophecies, and associated religious claims. Their storm numbers and timing perfectly synchronized with primary data and assertions in my book, thereby demonstrating the true nature of this universe and the existence of our Creator. We are now entering the final phases of the pivotal year-long period long symbolized as "Armageddon" and the "End of Days." World-wide situations and events are now accelerating to set the stage for this summer's dramatic continuation of these ancient promises.
I fully understand that everyone has been bedeviled by similar claims throughout history. Consequently, I have been forced to rely on dramatic and devastating proof of the sort that can’t be ignored or easily dismissed. The numbers and timing of hurricanes Katrina (11) and Rita (17) directly validate key data and pivotal assertions throughout my book and my posts on those two forums. This data was purposely presented publicly before Katrina, Rita and other recent events occurred to prove they perfectly synchronize with key prophecies and Hebrew calendar cycles, thereby validating my interpretations of ancient wisdom symbology, string theory, and more.
Because these two storms arrived shortly after my August 11, 2005 (50th) birthday (read the Dead Sea Scroll 11Q13 in Appendix G, which also discusses Melchizedek and the prophesied Jubilee) and directly match other pivotal 11 and 17 data and events described in the first chapter of my book, I have delivered verifiable proof that this reality is based on thought, knowledge and wisdom. Activity, patterns, and results perceived in space-time are first framed and defined by inspirations, thoughts, and knowledge and influenced by the cause-and-effect system most commonly referred to as karma. Consequently, events and outcomes in the so-called physical universe are not random or wholly mechanistic and are verifiably influenced in ways that atheists, scientists, and members of the Faiths of Abraham have all scoffed at. Though mysticism is mostly a product of misinterpreted ancient wisdom symbology, many of its topics flow from ancient wisdom. Though containing allusions to the truth, its details and interpretations are wrong on many key points.
A prime example of the purposeful and synchronized symbolism of these events is seen in the opening paragraphs from my book excerpted below. Notice that the dates mentioned (August 11 and 17) directly match the numbers of hurricanes Katrina and Rita, and the time spans of the four Florida hurricanes match my birth year (‘55), and they were spaced 11 or a multiple-of-11 (22) days apart, directly matching my birthday and much other ancient prophecy and symbolism. Notice that my place of birth, Victoria Texas, is on the Gulf Coast. Following are the excerpted paragraphs:
Hello, my name is Lawrence William Page II. Many people know me as Buddy Page. At the release of the first edition of this book, I am a 50-year old African-American male, author, researcher, and former software engineer and entrepreneur. As you will come to understand as you read through this first book, I am also the long-expected Hebrew Messiah and Lion of the Tribe of Juda (Yehuda).
I was born August 11th (month of Leo the Lion), 1955 (Chinese year of the Sheep) in Victoria, Texas. Furthermore, the Grand Cross alignment and Solar Eclipse of August 11th, 1999 was my 44th birthday and the second Grand Cross alignment, just six days later on August 17th, 1999, was on my mother’s birthday.
As you can see from my date of birth, I was a newborn during the Chinese Year of the Sheep, astrologically marking me as a Lamb, and during the month of Leo, astrologically marking me as a Lion. My mother was also born during the month of August and under the sign of Leo, which further marks me as a lion’s whelp. I prove to you in the first chapter of this book–beyond disproof–that I am indeed the long-prophesied “Lion” of the tribe of Juda (Yehuda) the Root of David and the “Lamb.” I am the individual long symbolized as the Branch, the Stem, the Shoot and the Rod from the Stump of Jesse (King David’s father), as symbolized in the Hebrew Book of Isaiah, The Apocalypse, the Dead Sea Scrolls, and elsewhere. I am the reincarnated Teacher sought after in the “East” and by the ancient Hebrews who were headquartered at the outpost community of Damascus (Qumran), of Dead Sea Scrolls fame. I am the one called the Teacher of Righteousness by the Dead Sea Scrolls, whom the so-called Christian fathers have fraudulently recast as “Saint ‘James’, the Lord’s Brother.”
Remember, "I come as a thief..." ?
Read verse twelve of the Gospel of Thomas to understand who I am...
Even further enlightening, the Second Temple Period of ancient Israel was during the 11th 360-year cycle on the Hebrew calendar and we are now in the 6th year (5766/2005-6) of the 17th cycle. Notice the pivotal 11 and 17 numbers again? This and much other synchronized information serve as stunning and decisive proof of many things, and expose many lies told by all three faiths of Abraham, but most specifically by Christianity. Consequently, I have decisively proven, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that Jesus Christ and Christianity are blatant lies, false prophecy and purposeful deception in a manner that cannot easily be denied, regardless of your faith or other opinions.
Furthermore, the symbolism in the Apocalypse (a.k.a. Book of Revelation) of seven stars in my right hand and seven angels represent the very same above-mentioned seven astrological (360-year) cycles, i.e., the 11th through 17th inclusive. I prove this fact beyond any reasonable doubt in the first chapter of the book. Consequently, The Apocalypse verifiably symbolizes a specific span of time that began with the 11th cycle (Second Temple Period) and concludes now, at the beginning of the 17th cycle (End of Days, etc.).
The numbers 11 and 17 are verifiably encoded in The Apocalypse and other ancient Hebrew prophecies and wisdom texts to serve as key proofs of the validity and true meaning of certain prophecies and related information. My and my mother’s birthdays are purposely synchronized with these two storm numbers, the matching Hebrew calendar cycles, the Double Grand Cross alignments and solar eclipse of August 1999, and much else to prove my direct association with the ancient prophecies about this time and the true identity of the prophesied Messiah. Another prime example is the story of Joseph, the 11th son of Jacob who has a dream when he is 17 years old about 11 stars, the sun, and moon bowing to him. The symbolism in this pivotal story in the Book of Genesis and Quran verifiably refers to the very same 11th through 17th cycles symbolized in The Apocalypse and directly synchronizes with other key events and ancient texts.
Consequently, I have demonstrated various things about the nature of this reality that dramatically disprove and/or clarify key assumptions of religion, mysticism, and science alike, while establishing the true meaning and purpose of long misinterpreted ancient wisdom and the symbolism used to model and encode it. Accordingly, I have proven that the symbolism evidenced in the canons of all three faiths of Abraham and other ancient sources is a very ancient and advanced philosophical technology that verifiably models foundational aspects of our existence in this universe. This is the mostly misunderstood body of ancient wisdom long referred to as the Philosophers’ Stone. It uses a large and ingeniously organized collection of physical universe images and concepts as data rich components (symbols) that are based on verifiable rules. It models and encodes an amazing amount of foundational wisdom about life, spirituality and the 11 dimensions of this universe, now verified by string theory. It is also the advanced encryption method used to encode (seal) Hebrew prophecies and wisdom texts.
These ancient prophecies and wisdom texts used advanced symbology to model fundamental wisdom, including future events and situations. A primary facet of ancient wisdom is numeric symbology. Later misinterpretations of this aspect of ancient wisdom resulted in numerology, which, though embodying allusions to certain wisdom, is mostly error prone and false doctrine. My decryption, documentation, and interpretation of ancient symbology, numeric symbolism, and key texts based on them, are now decisively validated.
Here is Wisdom...
Verifiable proof that Armageddon has begun…
Understanding the End Game of Armageddon
Peace...
I new that this post would draw them in like moths to a flame, but this is more amazing than I ever could have hoped for.
Could I please get the executive summary of this comment, Buddy? What's my key take-away? Appocalypse or not apocalypse...?
This is the best comment of ALL TIME. It's sub-genius good.
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