An Informative Look at Roman Catholicism and Borino the Secret Religion

Many people have been asking me about what bearing the selection of a new pope has on the apocalypse. The truth is that it is of very little relevance and any intelligent apocalypse insider will tell you the same. The catholic churches positions and actions have no bearing on the occult phenomenon which underlay our day to day existence and for the most part I pay very little attention to these things.

Truth be told, I first heard about the new pope after doing a google search for the term "Ratzinger." I had been hearing it mentioned often of late and I was beginning to wonder if something had gone horribly wrong deep inside the Celestial Seasons corporation. These makers of mediocre herbal teas have done quite well for themselves with flavours such as Lemon Zinger and Wildberry Zinger, but I remember thinking "Rat Zinger? That doesn't sound appetizing at all. The name doesn't even have a good rhythm, Sewer Rat Zinger, would have had a much nicer ring to it."

Had the people at Celestial Seasons actually released such a variety of herbal tea for mass consumption, that would have been a much clearer sign of the apocalypse than the election of the new pope. In all honesty, the soap opera of the Catholic church is mere parlour games when compared to the internal power struggle within the Borinian Hierarchy.

Many people know nothing of Borino, even though it is one of the seven great religions which mankind has known. The first is the true original religion which has been lost to us and which appears only as shadows and glimmers within the texts and rituals of our present religions. Obviously Hinduism, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism and Christianity are included in this number. The seventh major religion is Borino, the secret religion from xxxxxx which xxxxxxx xxxxxx xxxx x xxxxx and xxx xxxxx xxxx. Borino is based on xxx xxxxxx xx xxxx of magnesia xxxxxx and the belief that solar xxxx xxxx xxx will lead to the heat death of the universe unless xxx xxxxx xxx. Borinian priestesses perform elaborate xxxxxxx xxx and rigorously choreographed xxx xxxx but never without a xxxxxxx. Should any male wish to participate in this ritual (let's be honest, who wouldn't) he will first have to learn to xxxxx x xxxxx without xxxxx xxx xxxxxx. Borino is perhaps most famous for being mentioned repeatedly in the celebrated pop song xx x xxxxxx xxxxx by xxxxx. Unfortunately he was killed three weeks after releasing the album which contained the aforementioned song on account of xxx xxx xxxxxxx.

Of the seven major religions only Borino has any direct relevance to the timetables of the apocalypse. This is because of the massive xxxxxxxxx which will occur if all 756 Borinian priestesses ever achieve xxxxxx during an eclipse.

Should any of my inquisitive readers wish to learn more about Borino please feel free to contact Xxxxxx Xxxxxxxx at (XXX) XXX-XXXX.


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