The Name of our Doom is Fridge-o-Vision!

I have noticed a most disturbing advertisement as of late. I watch a lot of television because, while the revolution will not be televised, the apocalypse certainly will. This commercial message advertizes to the viewer the possibility of purchasing a refrigerator which is also a TV. Or perhaps it is a TV which is also a refrigerator, depending on one's priorities.

The message says "Finally, the two things you love most. Eating. Watching TV." What of love and spring winds? What of fine wines and the open sea? What of glorious victory and or the thrill of finally mapping the darkest Congo? What of the female figure and a woman's touch? What of feasting? Oh, well, perhaps that's covered under eating -- but the image of a man and his daughter eating factory-made ice cream straight from the box is a far cry from a proper 12-course feast. And watching TV? This is one of the things people love most now-a-days? Have you people forgotten how to live?

While the advertizer's motto is frightening enough, the true terror lies in the product itself. It is a television-fridge. Fridge-o-Vision. We are producing more and more engineers and scientists every year. Our understanding of particle physics, biology and computing leaps forward immeasurably everyday and this is the best we can come up with? Fridge-o-Vision? This is the kind of thing children "invent" on a rainy Sunday morning by drawing a picture and shewing it to their mommies and daddies, who laugh at them and send to their room without dinner until they come up with a good invention. Nonetheless, a team of designers and engineers have been employed for a lengthy period of time to create Fridge-o-vision.

Why have we, as a society, created Fridge-o-Vision? What is the driving force behind this product? What great need is this fulfilling? Is there nothing more important that our great minds could be working on? The need that motivates this product is capitalisms structural need to sell as many things as possible at all costs. To sell something to someone you must have something that that person does not have. Many people have televisions and many people have refridgerators, but no one has a Fridge-o-Vision. Does anyone need a Fridge-o-Vision? Capitalism cries out, "Who cares?!?"

Capitalism is designed to produce and sell material goods as quickly and efficiently as possible. In North America it has reached a certain saturation point where most people have all the material goods they need and many people still have a surplus of wealth remaining. The Fridge-o-Vision is a clear sign that capitalism has been reduced to the creation of absurd, ridiculous material goods to keep people buying. Capitalism has served humanity well, but it is slipping out of our control.

People often talk about capitalism's efficiency. They say it is the most 'efficient' system. But they rarely discuss what it is efficient at. Capitalism is ruthlessly efficient at consuming our natural resources and converting them into profitable material goods. Capitalism's efficiency is in part dependent on how quickly we can be convinced to throw out one set of material goods and buy a new set. In fact, with our insatiable societal desire for wealth, our current economic system has become an unstoppable juggernaut of digging things up and turning them into garbage. It is certainly easy to see that Fridge-o-Vision is already only a few steps from the landfill. What a useless hunk of garbage.

Our world has many real and pressing problems. We don't know how to effectively distribute our over-abundance of food. We don't know how to prevent children from being abused. We don't know how to help each and every human to live a spiritually fulfilling life. These are difficult and pressing challenges, but they do not rest upon the creation of new, profitable material goods. All the problems that are likely to be solved by the creation of new and profitable material goods have already been solved. For this reason, the great minds of our time are being employed to invent and market "Fridge-o-vision," while people are starving, children are being abused and none of us (excepting myself and Conan O'Brien) have found spiritual fulfilment. Capitalism is utterly inefficient at solving these emotional and strategic dilemnas.

Mark my words, the apocalypse shall rain down upon us in the form of strange 2-in-1 products! Even while we burn and maim each other out of fear, anger and hatred, the commercial messages shall proclaim proudly "It's a car and a barbeque! Finally the two things you love most, driving and grilling meat!"

The names of our doom shall be these:






Blogger justin said...

They stole that design from ME! Except mine had the TV on the INSIDE. Your food needs to be entertained, folks. And nothing keeps a vegetable more happy than a few "E.R." re-runs, if you take my meaning.

10:27 a.m.  

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